The holiday season is often marketed as “the most wonderful time of the year”—a stretch filled with joy, family gatherings, cozy moments, and celebration. But for many people, the holidays can bring something very different: stress, loneliness, financial pressure, grief, exhaustion, or the weight of expectations. This emotional dip, commonly known as the holiday blues, is more common than we often admit.
As a therapist, educator, and wellness advocate, I see the holiday blues show up in ways people don’t always anticipate. And if you’re feeling it this year, I want you to know this:
There is nothing wrong with you. You’re not alone. You’re allowed to honor your real emotional experience—not just the one the world expects you to have.
Below are some reflections and strategies to help you care for yourself during this season with compassion, boundaries, and intention.
1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling—Without Judgment
Many people assume they SHOULD feel happy during the holidays. When they don’t, they experience guilt or shame on top of the sadness.
Give yourself permission to feel whatever is true for you.
Ask yourself:
“What emotions are showing up for me right now?”
“What do I need more of this season?”
“What do I need less of?”
Naming the emotion reduces the power it has over you.
2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Peace
Holidays can come with:
increased family stress
unrealistic expectations
invitations you don’t want to accept
obligations that drain you
You’re allowed to say no to protect your emotional wellness.
Try:
“I won’t be able to make it this year, but thank you for thinking of me.”
“I’m choosing a quieter holiday this season.”
“I can stay for one hour.”
Honor your capacity. Not every tradition has to be repeated just because it’s expected.
3. Create New Traditions That Nourish You
If old traditions bring grief, pressure, or anxiety, consider building new ones. Maybe that looks like:
cooking a new meal
watching a favorite show
attending a worship service
journaling with a warm drink
taking a solo evening drive to look at lights
traveling or opting out entirely
Traditions should serve you—not drain you.
4. Manage Financial Stress with Grace
Gift-giving, travel, and holiday events can create pressure that isn’t always sustainable.
A few reminders:
You don’t have to buy your love for people.
Meaningful gestures often don’t cost money.
Your financial goals matter just as much as holiday expectations.
It's okay to prioritize your budget, savings, and mental peace.
5. Honor Grief and Loss Compassionately
For many, the holidays highlight the absence of loved ones, relationships, or routines that once brought joy.
Grief is not a sign of weakness—it’s proof that love existed.
Create space by:
lighting a candle
looking at photos
writing a letter to the person
sharing memories with someone you trust
Let grief coexist with moments of joy.
6. Stay Connected—Even in Small Ways
Holiday blues often worsen with isolation. Choose gentle, low-pressure connection:
a video call
brunch with a friend
attending a class or service
spending time with someone who feels safe
You don’t have to be “on”—just present.
7. Prioritize Rest and Regulation
Emotional overload is real during the holidays.
Slow down enough to notice your needs.
Sleep enough
Move your body in ways you enjoy
Drink water
Limit overcommitting
Take breaks from overstimulating environments
Your nervous system deserves care just as much as your holiday to-do list.
8. Seek Support When Needed
If the holiday blues start affecting sleep, appetite, functioning, or relationships, you may benefit from talking with a mental health professional. Therapy isn’t just for “crisis”—it can be a preventative support.
Your emotions deserve a safe place to land.
Final Thoughts
You are allowed to experience the holidays differently from others. You can create a season that honors YOUR mental health, YOUR grief, YOUR joy, YOUR faith, YOUR boundaries, and YOUR journey.
Whether this season is tender, heavy, hopeful, or in-between—honor your truth. Take care of yourself gently. And remember: the holiday blues don’t define you. They’re a moment, not a measure of who you are.
If you need additional support this holiday season, I am here for you!